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Those recognising #autistim later in life, was there something that helped you realise?
I used to joke "I'm a bit autistic". My partner and I would note how I'm like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, but I didn't take this seriously until..
First we broke up and I looked in depth at that relationship, how hard it was and why. That got me ready..
Then I watched #TheAccountant, it's a thriller but includes autistic characters inc the lead.
Boom! I saw my traits.
@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic
@doggle
I was on a refresher seminar for a therapy method I use in my office. There was a lady who had just been dxd. She said: “You mustn’t ask a high functioning autist what they can’t do, autism-specifically. Because they can do everything. You have to ask how much it costs them.”
Suddenly a whole lot of pieces fell into place.
I got officially dxd 8 months later.
@manon Thanks, this makes sense. It always puzzled me. I couldn't understand that things were so hard for me, ordinary things that didn't seem hard for others - but I just assumed they hid it too. Seems daft after the fact!
@sentient_water @doggle
Very much so.
And what’s more, the difficult things are sometimes easy and sometimes insurmountable. And I can’t foresee when they will be what.
I wrote my first ever article for a scientific workbook just fine. And then literally fell sick for two days because I wasn’t able to sort the names of the coauthors with the sparse information from my professor how he wanted them to be.
@manon @doggle You have no idea how much I relate to this. I wrote my first academic paper on autism in four hours. I then sent it to two Drs of psychology who said with only a few tiny changes it would be ready for publication in a peer reviewed psychology magazine.
I still haven't made those changes & I've graduated. It still infuriates me.
@sentient_water @doggle
I feel you.
The only thing that helps me is when I get so annoyed about myself that I kind of hurl myself over the barrier no matter what. I can’t be happy or content with myself afterwards, it’s just a grim „well, I did it at last“.
@manon @doggle Yeah 
much like The Accountant I need to finish. If that's in a timely fashion great. If not it's like an itch I can't scratch, for years sometimes.
I can't imagine how many opportunities I've missed in life because of it. I've heard it called Autistic Inertia & that really fits with how it feels to me.
@sentient_water
I‘ve heard this expression too. For me it doesn’t fit. I associate inertia with something big and heavy, while what keeps me from doing these oh-so-easy things is either turmoil in my head or a freeze or both. It’s interesting that you seem to experience a different quality there.
Do you think this itching after a lost opportunity is autism specific? Does our precise memory play tricks on us here?
@manon I don't think it's a different quality just a subjective expression. Freeze would work just as well. I use inertia because it also has a positive aspect. In that once I overcome it it's like a huge stone rolling down a hill & I can enter a flow state for a couple of years where I accomplish incredible things.
Also I mean actually miss opportunities. I miss deadlines for applications. Don't maintain contact with people.
@sentient_water Ok, I meant missed opportunities too, now that I read your reply. :)
This inertia thing producing kinetic energy for a couple of years sounds amazing!
I do my „amazing“ things in an uphill-downhill Mars Rover mode. Slow pacing, but stubborn and optimistically curious.
@manon Yeah it is thrilling but being inert for two years while I build up the momentum is tedious. I usually get things done in the background but still.
I think slow & steady wins the race but I guess we all have to approach life differently.
@sentient_water I‘m aware that „slow and steady wins the race“ is a phrase, but as you also indicate there is no race to win. It’s the way we approach our lives individually.
I will never ever „learn“ not to overburden myself. I always have too much on my plate and have a talent to magnetically attract tasks. 