introduction, over-sharing, unmasked hyper-honesty, trauma, childhood trauma, sociopathy, suicidal thoughts, chronic pain, chronic illness
My entire life I have experienced extreme pain in my joints, random rashes/angioedemas, fatigue, and frequent bouts of illness especially including vomiting. Also my whole life, I have been dismissed, marginalized, gaslighted, outright lied to, and otherwise failed by every single doctor and medial professional I have ever seen. "It's no big deal." "He will grow out of it." "You just need to lose weight." When my health collapsed in grad school, and then I could not even keep working, I lost 140 lbs. I went from "obese" to "too thin." None of the doctors who told me, "just lose weight and you will feel better," were even remotely correct. I am still trying to find that "good doctor" that gets depicted on TV doctorganda, and get an actual diagnosis for disability insurance.
I also grew up in abject poverty under a textbook sociopathic abusive father and codependent chronically depressed mother. I always win the "my family is more fucked up than you can imagine" game when NTs pry into my life despite me giving no indication of consent that I want to talk about my family. I have never figured out why they insist on prying, but I am always delighted at the faces of horror they make when I just say, "fuck it!" and fully unmask and tell them the truth. (Note, if you read a modern textbook on abnormal psychology, it will probably not have a description of "sociopath." Just look for the descriptions of "Antisocial Personality Disorder" and "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and imagine someone comorbid with both of them.)
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